Ladies Who Coffee

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It’s taken a few weeks to get off the ground, but Wednesday was the first truly successful day for us Ladies Who Coffee.

After a hard and fast realization that life is very, very out of balance, I realized I was missing real interaction with friends in my life.  Oh, I have them, but I don’t do a very good job of cultivating them.  Not following each other on Facebook, not texting, not emailing, not waving across the road, real honest-to-god interaction with friends.  To be fair, I think most of my friends are similar.  We want to do more with each other, but life always seems to be getting in the way.  Then the next thing you know, you run into each other and have weeks of catching up to do.  Unhealthy.  Are we really so busy we can’t take an hour once a week to sit and bitch about others?  I think not.

My sister helps run a highly successful dinner group every Tuesday night.  They potluck, with each woman taking turns hosting the main dish while others bring the sides and dessert.  They are very tight knit, and the older women end up mentoring the younger ones.  I met a few of her dinner girls at my sister’s wedding back in October.  They were strong, happy and clearly benefited from spending that kind of time with each other.  I’m barely coordinated enough to feed my own self dinner, much less others.  But I can drink the hell out of some coffee!

Our first two attempts were not highly successful.  For one, we were trying to hold the event on a Friday.  All I could think about come Friday at 3:30 was fleeing campus as hard and as fast as I could.  Turns out so were they.  So we moved it to Wednesday instead.  That ended up being perfect!  It was a delightful antidote to getting through the hump of the week and we were all more committed to being there.  I went through graduate school with one of the women and another I guerrilla garden with (a post for another day lol).  But the others I only knew somewhat loosely.  This was probably ideal.

We all had the university in common, more or less, and so we began as you might expect:  by bitching about the students.  LOL!  That quickly turned to bitching about the administration (I know, right? Who knew we all had so much in common??).  This was followed by more personal discussions of family, friends, writing, weird housemates, cats (not mutually exclusive of weird housemates), plans, revelations, excitement, you name it.  Before I knew it, an hour and a half had passed.

I can’t speak for men, but I know as a woman, I really do need my women friends.  I never realize this more than when I am away from them.  There is a sense of community and common bond that I don’t get anywhere else.  I appreciate their insights and I want to champion their causes as my own.  Lord, how I’ve missed them!  While my tendency is to jump into something “whole-hog,” as us Appalachians might say, I’ve realized the value in doing this one thing the right way.  I can’t exactly mark up my calendar with loads of social obligations.  But for this semester, for my life and for my girlbuddies, I can do this one thing as right as I can do it.

It was just a coffee date.  But oh, was it so much more than that!

Of course, given that this past Wednesday was the day before midterm grades were due, we became the Ladies Who Beer, but who’s watching?

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4 responses »

  1. It’s hard.

    At one point we decided it would be nice if each person would occasionally invite others for an impromptu dinner (all food-driven events in our circle are potluck, so the invitees would naturally bring something from the freezer or something from a store). Nice idea, but it didn’t fly. As it develops, most of us graze from the pantry for dinner and so we tend not to think of inviting others. (“Come on over for a dehydrated heel of cheese and some stale crackers”???)

    Okay, we didn’t get anywhere with that. So next we were going to exercise. And for a year, it actually worked: we started at 6:00 a.m. and got in 45 minutes or an hour of brisk walking five days a week. Useful! But too healthy: we gave up on that in due time.

    Now it’s impromptu late-afternoon schmoozes over coffee.

    At least we’ve managed to stay friends. That’s something.

    • Yes, soggy yard at best here. The county next to me, though, is a federal disaster area. In about the span of 30 minutes, trailers and other things like cars were lifted up and away. It’s horrible for them. Plenty of people in my home state of Kentucky are having similar issues as well. Thank you for asking.

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